This is the story of last night…
It was an ordinary evening. Melissa was falling asleep around 9:30 while reading a book, Sophie was snuggling into the corner of the room and occasionally licking the crap out of her paws, and I was relaxing watching House of Cards. We all went to bed as normal, but this was not a normal night.
1:15 AM shows on our clock as I’m awakend by Melissa, accompanied by Sophie’s barks and growls. “Justin! Can you check and see if someone’s at the door?!”
I’m dazed and groggy. I’m thinking that we didn’t order anything that the mail man would need a signature to deliver. But I’m not thinking straight and have no idea why I’ve been awakened at this hour. The details of rolling out of bed and throwing on some clothes are faded from my memory, but the next thing I know, I’m walking down the hallway to the living room with Sophie growling at my heels. I’d later learn Melissa was close behind me as well.
I turn the corner and see the shadow of a man through the window of our front door. “What the hell!?” I muttered. Sophie barks like a crazy dog trying to protect her house. The man’s outline was perfectly centered through the front door’s window and was completely black, no details to be seen. It was seriously like a scene from a horror movie when the lighting strikes to show the killer’s outline about to strike. Adding to this craziness, it’s actually a windy, rainy, gloomy night. Perfect setting for a scare.
Wondering what is going on, why is this person at my house and still groggy from sleep, I walk down the stairs toward the door, Melissa behind me trying to calm our barking dog to keep from waking our child – who slept through this entire thing, by the way. Having no light switch for the outside lights at the top of the steps in our split-foyer house, I find myself within one foot of this mysterious stranger with only a door between us as I turn on the outside light to see…dun dun DUN!…THE DOMINOS DELIVERY MAN!
I unlock and open the door, to which this man says, “You didn’t order a pizza, did you?” His tone was all-knowing that he was grasping at straws as to where he was supposed to be going to hand over some delicious italian pies, and he knew this wasn’t the place. I said no, he asked if the address he had been told was ours. It was, but we ordered no pizza tonight.
He retreated to his car – probably because of how scary our barking dog was…yeah, probably not. He moved his car to in front of the neighbor’s house and walked up to their door. Two minutes later, he was back in his car and counting the cash from his delivery.
Our family tried to go back to bed while making comments such as, “This early Mother’s Day Announcement brought to you by…Dominos!”
The best part was our initial reactions. I was thinking, “Crap, who’s trying to break into our house?” and “Are we going to get robbed?” My loving wife’s thoughts were, “Who died? The Police must be at our door to deliver us some sort of horrible news!” Sophie’s thoughts were, “BARK BARK BARK!!!” Translation: “Don’t let them in or I will pee myself!” Thad’s thoughts were, “ZZZzzzZZZzzz…”
On this fateful night, the odds were in our favor as none of our initial worries were true. This “man in the night” was delivering decliciousness, albeit to the wrong house. The next one might not be.
It’s a crazy world out there. Stay safe, my friends.